I used to wake up every day hating myself.

I repeated the same beliefs and they became fact for me:

“I am ugly.”
“I am stupid.”
“Nobody likes me.”

Years of bullying and trauma had taken root inside me.

Kids called me a “fat, ugly gorilla” and told me to end my life.

They created the “Gabby touch,” would run up to me and touch me as if I were a disease and then run away.

The people closest to me even my own family made me feel like a mistake.

I never deserved it, but I allowed their words to become my identity.

Eventually, I chose myself and removed the toxicity from my life.

I went silent.

I chose me.

Some took it personal.

Some thought I was being rude.

I learned that is a them problem not a me a problem.

I KNEW I was acting out of love for myself.

I was tired of living inside a prison.

As someone with autism and ADHD, I experience the world differently. For years, I felt misunderstood, isolated, and alone. Eventually, those feelings became beliefs:

“I am misunderstood.”
“I am isolated.”
“I am alone.”

I never felt safe enough to be myself. I did not even feel safe enough to feel.

I began writing affirmations and reading them daily even when I did not believe them. Even when it was uncomfortable for me.

I surrounded myself with powerful people who embodied love.

That is how I learned who was truly for me. People who loved me supported my decision to love myself. Others tried to make me feel guilty for recognizing my worth.

Love should never require you to hate yourself so someone else can feel comfortable. Love encourages love.

When I realized I did not like my life, I changed it.

I had the power to change it, but I had to act.

No one was coming to save me.

So, I prayed.

I asked God to help me see myself through His eyes and align me with His purpose.

I wrote affirmations and spent time alone at the lake.

I even feared going alone because I worried people would see me and judge me for being alone.

But it wasn’t even about that!

It was about me healing.

I had to save me.

The day I stopped seeking permission to love myself, everything changed.

I chose to die to the version of me that other people created – a version that never belonged to me.

You may pour into people who will never do the same for you. Some believe supporting your light will somehow dim their own.

I remove that toxicity quickly.

No argument. No announcement. Not worth my energy.

Gone.

If you find one genuine person who believes in you, cherish them.

Love them.

Support them, too.

Iron sharpens iron.

Never let someone’s lack of support convince you that your work is meaningless, your dreams are impossible, or you are unworthy of love.

Your purpose cannot be erased because someone refuses to recognize it.

They may ignore your light, but they cannot stop you from shining.

No matter what I have experienced, I know I have myself.

More importantly, I have God.

With God, I have everything I need.

And with God, all things are possible.