All Your Autism and ADHD Questions Answered

In my opinion, the difference between saying “autistic person” and “person with autism” does not deeply impact me personally. I understand that many people have strong feelings about identity-first language versus person-first language, and I respect that. For some people, language is deeply connected to dignity, identity, and lived experience.

For me, I see a person as a person first, regardless of the wording someone uses. Whether someone calls me an autistic person or a person with autism, I usually understand the meaning to be the same when the intention is respectful.

At the same time, I want to be clear that I am not my disability. Autism and ADHD are pieces of my identity, and they shape how I experience the world, process information, create, feel, and connect. But they are not the totality of who I am. I am a whole person with purpose, faith, creativity, intelligence, emotions, dreams, and a calling beyond any diagnosis.

So for me, the focus is less on which exact phrase someone uses and more on whether they are speaking with respect, understanding, and compassion. I will always honor someone else’s preference for how they want to be described, but personally, I see both terms as pointing to the same truth: I am a whole person, autism is part of me, but it is not all of me.

I do not always describe it as “my autism” or “my ADHD,” because at the end of the day, I am just me. Autism and ADHD are part of how my brain works, but they are not separate from who I am as a person.

For me, autism can make it difficult to understand nonverbal communication. It is not that I do not understand people at all, but I can have significant struggles with reading facial expressions, tone, body language, social cues, and what someone may be implying without saying directly.

My autism and ADHD also show up through stimming, repetitive behaviors, sensory sensitivities, emotional intensity, deep focus, and, at times, suppression or masking. There are parts of life that are harder for me than they may be for other people, especially when the world expects everyone to communicate, process, and function the same way.

At the same time, I also believe my mind carries deep creativity. I scored in the top 1% globally on the WAIS IQ test for spatial reasoning, and that helped me understand that my brain is not broken. It is different. I often see patterns, visuals, connections, and possibilities in ways that feel natural to me.

I would be lying if I said autism and ADHD make life perfect, because they do not. But to me, autism and ADHD mean I have a neurological difference. The biggest lesson I have learned is that life changes when you stop fighting your mind and start learning how to work with it.

I believe autism can be viewed as a disability, a difference, and a piece of identity, depending on the person and their lived experience. I do not think there is one answer that applies to everyone, because every autistic person is different.

For me personally, I view autism as a piece of my identity, but not my entire identity. It helps explain certain parts of how I think, communicate, process information, experience sensory input, and move through the world.

At the same time, I am very careful about not allowing any label to define the whole of who I am. Labels can help us understand ourselves, access support, and explain our needs, but they should never become a box that limits our humanity, potential, or purpose.

So yes, I believe autism can be a disability, a difference, and an identity. But above all, I believe every person is more than a label.

Parents, teachers, and professionals should talk about autism with respect, humility, and the understanding that every autistic child is unique. No two autistic people are exactly the same, so we should never assume that one person’s experience represents everyone’s experience.

I think it is very disrespectful to say things like, “They do not look autistic,” or “Everyone struggles with that.” Statements like that may seem harmless to some people, but they can be deeply invalidating. Autism is often a hidden disability, and many autistic people spend years masking, suppressing, or trying to appear “fine” while struggling internally.

I believe parents, teachers, and professionals should meet each child where they are. They should see the child as a whole person first, not as a stereotype, diagnosis, or behavior problem. At the same time, if a child needs support, they need support. Respecting autism does not mean ignoring challenges. It means providing support without shame, patience without pity, and understanding without limiting who that child can become.

I wish people understood that autistic advocates are not all the same. We are not all pushy, angry, harsh, or unwilling to understand others. A lot of us are advocating because we have been misunderstood, dismissed, excluded, or hurt, and we want the world to become safer and more compassionate for people who think and experience life differently.

For me personally, I believe love is the answer to everything. That does not mean ignoring ableism or pretending harmful things are okay. It means correcting, educating, and advocating from a place of love whenever possible. I believe we are supposed to counsel in love, not condemn people simply because they do not know something yet.

Advocacy is not just about being heard. It is also about helping people understand. I want people to know that autistic advocates can be passionate and still compassionate, direct and still loving, strong and still patient. My goal is not to shame people. My goal is to help create a world where neurodivergent people are seen, supported, respected, and loved.

My position on ABA therapy is shaped by both my personal experience as an autistic person and my professional experience, because I have worked as an ABA therapist before.

I believe it is important to help people learn skills that support their safety, communication, independence, and ability to succeed in life. If a behavior is harmful, unsafe, or truly preventing someone from being able to function, communicate, or be supported, then I believe it is appropriate to address it with care, patience, and respect.

However, I also believe there are many things in therapy that have historically been corrected simply because they looked different, not because they were actually harmful. Stimming, avoiding eye contact, needing repetition, moving differently, communicating differently, or needing sensory support should not automatically be treated as problems to eliminate.

To me, the goal should never be forced compliance or masking. The goal should be support, communication, safety, dignity, and helping the person build a life that works for them. Support the person, teach meaningful skills, protect safety, and help them grow — but do not erase who they are.

No, I do not believe autism needs to be cured.

For me personally, I believe God does not make mistakes. Autism is not a disease, and I do not see it as something that needs to be erased from who I am. Autism is a neurodevelopmental difference, and while it can come with real challenges and disability-related needs, it is also connected to the way I think, feel, process, create, and experience the world.

I think it is important to be honest about both sides. Autism is not always easy. There are sensory struggles, communication differences, misunderstandings, overwhelm, and support needs that can make life harder. I would never want to dismiss that.

But needing support is not the same thing as needing to be cured. I do not want a cure for who I am. I want understanding. I want accessibility. I want support. I want people to stop treating autistic traits as something shameful or broken.

Autism is part of me, but it is not all of me. I love being me, and I believe the goal should not be to erase autistic people. The goal should be to help autistic people live full, supported, respected, and meaningful lives.

Acceptance is different from ignoring real struggles because acceptance is rooted in truth, not denial. Acceptance means learning to love yourself, understand yourself, and stop treating your differences as something shameful. Ignoring problems does not help anyone, because ignoring struggles does not make them disappear.

To me, acceptance does not mean pretending autism or ADHD never come with challenges. There are real struggles, real support needs, real sensory issues, real communication differences, and real barriers in society. Those things should not be minimized.

I do not believe acceptance is about forcing neurodivergent people to conform to a world that does not understand them. At the same time, I do believe there has to be mutual understanding. Neurodivergent people deserve support, accessibility, and respect, and society also needs education so people can better understand what autism and ADHD actually are.

For me, stimming is self-soothing. As a child, I always had a foot stim where I would wiggle my foot. There is nothing wrong with it. It makes me feel peaceful, and sometimes it is also a sign that I am comfortable or “vibing.”

Stimming can help with regulation, focus, comfort, and emotional expression. I do not believe harmless stimming should be treated as something shameful. If it is not hurting anyone, sometimes it is simply the body’s way of finding peace.

This is something I am really focused on in my field. I believe bridging the gap between mental health and neurodevelopmental differences is important because they often go hand in hand.

I do not believe nearly as many autistic and ADHD people would experience the same level of anxiety, depression, or emotional exhaustion if our world was more inclusive, accessible, and understanding.

Many people mix up burnout and depression. Depression can come with thoughts of feeling lesser, hopeless, or deeply down. Burnout can feel more like your body and brain are completely exhausted and unable to keep going.

I have experienced both, so I understand that they can overlap, but autistic burnout feels more like my body is sensory shot. It can feel like I have pushed past my limits for too long and my system needs rest, quiet, and recovery.

Having to change who you are every single day to make other people comfortable is exhausting. Many neurodivergent people learn to do this from a young age. They learn to hide, suppress, copy, perform, or shrink parts of themselves just to be accepted.

Over time, that can contribute to anxiety, depression, burnout, and disconnection from yourself. I believe our world should allow people to be who they are, because our differences are part of what make this world beautiful.

For me, I hear so many noises and sounds that it can be hard to sleep. My ADHD can also make sleep harder because it feels like I am constantly on the move internally. It is like having a motor that does not want to shut off, even when I am tired.

Autistic students often have uneven skills because one area of the brain may be much stronger than another. A child may be advanced in one area and need support in another. That does not mean they are not intelligent. It means their learning profile may be different.

I believe schools should learn how to use a student’s strengths to support the areas where they struggle. When we work with the mind instead of against it, differences can become part of the path forward.

It depends on the child, but before thinking of holding a child back, schools should first ask whether they have truly supported the child’s learning needs. Autistic children should not be punished for having uneven skills.

The goal should be to understand how the child learns, provide the right supports, and use their strengths to help build the areas that are harder for them.

When things are not specific, it can become difficult. The autistic mind may struggle when certain gaps are not filled in. A student may need clear steps, direct language, examples, and expectations that are explained in a way they can understand.

Written instructions are helpful because they are step-by-step and can fill in missing gaps. For me, my mind is very detailed, and I often ask questions because I am trying to understand the bigger picture and fill in what is missing.

Some people may get annoyed when a person asks a lot of questions, but many times the person is simply trying to understand clearly. Written instructions also help because they are a constant reminder. As someone with ADHD, I love having things written down, and it was an accommodation I had in school.

Teachers should understand that processing speed is not always simple. Some students process information slowly, some process quickly, and some may process many things at once so fast that it becomes overwhelming.

For me personally, I have a very fast processing speed. Some people may assume that means everything should be easy, but that is not always true. The challenge is that my mind often processes too many details at one time.

Because of that, even though I may process quickly, I may also feel overwhelmed by the amount of information my mind is sorting through. Sometimes my response may seem indirect, not because I do not understand the question, but because my mind is still seeing all the layers connected to it.

Parents should know that speech delay is common in autism, but not every autistic child has a speech delay. Some autistic children speak early, some speak later, some are non-speaking, and some may have strong verbal skills but still struggle with communication.

Communication is both verbal and nonverbal. A child may be able to speak, but still have difficulty understanding facial expressions, gestures, pointing, tone of voice, body language, or indirect instructions.

The goal should not be to force every child to communicate in one specific way. The goal should be to understand how that child communicates and give them the tools, patience, and support they need to be understood.

Parents should understand that difficult behavior is not always simple. Sometimes behavior does need correction, because every person still has to learn boundaries, respect, safety, and responsibility. Autism should never be used as an excuse to harm others or avoid accountability.

At the same time, a lot of what people call “bad behavior” in autistic children may actually be a response to confusion, overwhelm, sensory overload, unmet needs, communication struggles, or not having something explained in the way the child needs to understand it.

Parents should ask, “What is this behavior communicating?” instead of only asking, “How do I stop this behavior?” Difficult behavior should be addressed, but it should be addressed with understanding.

Many autistic people enjoy video games. I think it can connect to repetition, focus, predictability, and the way games can release dopamine in the brain. I love video games. I love Kirby and Mario Bros.

At the same time, anything done out of balance can become unhealthy. Video games can be fun, comforting, and connecting, but balance is important.

Yes, online communities can provide connection, and for some people they can make communication feel simpler. But I have learned for myself that real-life friendship and in-person connection are also important, even when they are hard.

A special interest can become unhealthy if it becomes completely out of balance, but not every special interest is an addiction. A special interest is often something that can be expanded, developed, and used to build skills, create purpose, or even help the community when it is supported in the right way.

I believe autistic people can find fulfilling careers by paying attention to what naturally interests them, what they are drawn to, and what they can focus on deeply without being forced to become someone they are not.

For me, I have worked in many different spaces. I have worked in healthcare, I was going to become a nurse, I have worked in psychometry, content creation, fast food, retail, and other environments. I have experienced what it feels like to try to fit into jobs that did not fully align with how my mind works.

The most fulfilling place I have found for myself is where my special interests, strengths, and lived experience come together. For me, that became digital design and psychology. I crossed those worlds over and created a path that made sense for my brain, my creativity, and my purpose.

Many autistic and ADHD people struggle with perfectionism because we are often taught that mistakes are not safe.

For me personally, perfectionism came from learning that doing something the “wrong” way could lead to serious consequences, embarrassment, correction, or being misunderstood. Over time, I learned to follow everything exactly, even when I did not fully understand why, because that felt like the safest route.

Perfectionism is not always about wanting to be perfect. Sometimes it is about trying to stay safe, avoid shame, prevent rejection, and survive in a world that often punishes misunderstanding instead of explaining with compassion.

Every autistic mind is unique. For me, I actually love algebra, and I am also a big visual thinker. I scored in the top 1% globally in spatial reasoning, so visual thinking is a major strength for me.

I think the bigger point is that there is not one autistic learning style. Different minds connect information in different ways.

Some autistic children are picky eaters because food is not just about taste. Food can involve texture, smell, color, temperature, sound, appearance, routine, and predictability.

I personally value sameness and routine. That is one reason foods like macaroni and cheese can be comforting for many autistic children. The noodle usually looks the same, the color is familiar, the texture is usually consistent, and the taste is predictable.

A safe food is not always about being “spoiled” or “difficult.” Sometimes it is about regulation. Predictable food can feel grounding in an unpredictable world.